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A FEW THINGS THAT REALLY FUCKING PISSES ME OFF | Following Our President's Example | THE SMARTASS PARROT | DATING TIPS | Work Policies | Drunk Man Farts in Bed | Randy Rooster | Las Vegas Pro | Bar: Horny Wife, Pooped Husband | Title 205
DATING TIPS
Pick-Up Lines That Might Get You Killed
1: If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
2: I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
3: If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
4: How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
5: I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
6: My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
7: Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.
8: Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!!!!!
9: If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
10: You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
11: Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
12: Can I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?
13: I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
14: How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll put my head in.
Making a Good Impression
Don't Say This to Your New Girlfriend's Parents...
1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me.
2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday?
3. Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head?
4. Can you believe it! Those idiots at the corner market won't
cash my welfare check!
5. We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times.
6. Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable in my opinion.
7. Sara is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her.
8. Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it?
9. There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too.
10. Can I pull my car into your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.
11. Oh I don't have a house I live in a commune.
12. You know I hear gardens are a great place to hide bodies.
13. my last girl friend was on the FBI'S most wanted list.
14. We sure have a great witness protection program.
15. I see were Sara get's her big tits from.
16. Sara say's she wants to have a threesome do you want to join us Mrs Smith?
17. Which do you think would kill a man from 50 yards Mr Smith a 357 or a 9 mm?
