SMARTASS MAGAZINE | home
Randy Rooster
A farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. He goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy, he'll service every chicken you've got, no problem." Well, Randy the rooster cost a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it, so he buys Randy.
The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk. "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money. I need you to do a good job, so take your time and have some fun!" the farmer said with a chuckle. Randy seems to understand so the farmer points him toward the henhouse and Randy takes off like a shot.
WHAM! He nails every hen in there THREE of FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked. Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. WHAM. He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.
The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob, stone cold, in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself."
Randy opens one eye, winks and nods towards the sky and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer."